deal makers, breakers & expectations.

1.13.2012

(this is why I love college because I get a grade for this paper.)

Writing this paper is an extremely delicate one. If the male specimen take a sweet, heart-melting approach, it is therefore assumed that he must be sensitive and caring. However, if I attempted the same view-point it would be a known fact that I watch too many romance films and live in a Hollywood cliche. I solemnly swear to avoid any estrogen-influenced statements- Until I get to the part where I fall in love.

I tend to be a relatively stable woman with a refined taste in men- man. Throughout my adventures in the dating meat market, I have had the complete pleasure of running into Utah Valley’s biggest douche bags. Though generational slang doesn’t show much class in a lady, it meets the persona of these local animals. Urban Dictionary states, “douche bag: someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk.” With every short-ending date, I had another deal breaker to add to the list. By the end of my senior year in high school, this is what I had complied to avoid for future dating:

 1) If his biceps are bigger than his brain. 2) If he is wearing a scarf without a jacket he probably isn’t interested in females in the first place. 3) If he overuses the words “dope,” “sick” or “tight” out of context. 4) If he wears a zip-tie due to the incompetence of tie-tying. 5) If he would rather play on the lacrosse team than the Lord’s team. 6) If he would rather pay for COD than tuition. 7) If he is a felon in any way, shape, or form. 8) If he does not believe in the oxford comma. 9) If he has a phobia of small children. 10) If he prefers to be voluntarily overweight.

Speaking for the better part of the female population, I don’t feel as if I have crossed the “too picky” zone that will land most Utahans in the “26 & single” group. (Welcome to the adult single’s ward.) All we (mostly I) ask for is a well-groomed gentleman that has learned proper manners. Opening of doors, calling in request for a date, and avoiding “gettin’ some” before the right has been earned. Chivalry will not die but it seems to be that the greater portion of men would like to dispose of it.

This was my mentality. Mostly because I was a closet-cynic due to the countless run-in’s with the as told DB’s. Perhaps partly because I had never encountered such a male that practiced the lost art of chivalry. My only deal maker was that he would put the gospel in front of me. If that request was met, the rest would be met as well. Oh, and if he had washboard abs, I wouldn’t say no.

In March of 2011, I met someone that met my deal maker. He also avoided every single deal breaker. I quickly snatched him for myself the weekend he returned home from serving a mission in Scotland and Ireland. He is a gentleman; the kind that will pick you up so you don’t get snow in your wing-tipped shoes and does the dishes even though it’s your turn.

 We have been married for one week. What a blissful seven days, it has been. Our future is an exciting thought. We have so many plans and ambitions to fulfill. We’re embracing being ridiculously poor, living in a basement apartment that smells like cats. Being focused on school is one of our main priorities. Making babies will be next stage of life for us. Sometimes I doodle our future family on the edges of my Human Development notes. A girl with bouncing brown curls that we will call Charlotte and her brother, Knox, will be wearing a San Francisco Giants hat. I’ll be holding another little boy with (the requested) blue eyes, William and maybe we’ll have another tiny girl to make it even when we go to Disneyland. We’ll name her Frea. We probably won’t have any animals because they make too much noise and smell like my grandparents. I will remember to appreciate my husband for everything he does for me. I will give him kisses at every opportunity that presents itself and even at ones that don’t. We’ll remember how it feels right now; to be newlyweds and to be living off of love and coupons.

9 comments :

  1. very, very cute.

    <3 So happy that you're happy!

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  2. i'm totally naming my children charlotte and william- well, fitzwilliam (with some more). and we live in a basement apartment too, that smells like cat litter. well said.

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  3. why are you so gosh dang brilliant, meg? can i be you when i grow up?

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  4. this is perfect. you are a fabulous writer, my dear.

    so happy you found each other. :)

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  5. What's wrong with being single at 26?

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  6. #10 got me. Well the whole list did. Well done, well done.

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  7. secretly, (and not so secretly now) i just used your paper for inspiration for one of mine... because it is too good for words. ohhh, the irony of that sentence. i just thought that you should know.

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