Because you requested honesty.

8.06.2012

(I hope you know I have a spreadsheet to organize all my questions. I mean business.)

You can expect four more posts in regards to the questions you've asked after this one. Sex, marriage, religion & daily life tidbits.

My excitement levels varied between the topics but all classifiable high, besides this one. You asked hard questions. Questions I have been avoiding because I have learned that sharing intimate details about my life can result in a lot of criticism.

So, I'll start with the question that I was waiting for,

"why do you glory in such risque things and idle away your time with pointless tv shows when you have such a quick wit and so much potential? you used to write about adventures you would have and places you had found, you have the opportunity to be a huge role model...and yet, you are obsessed with clothing and tv shows that honestly nobody will care about in another five years. why? do you honestly know no better? what happened?"

Blogging isn't my life. It's not even considered a priority anymore. It's a dying hobby. I assume whoever left this comment read my old blog because you wouldn't know the difference if you hadn't. I use to openly share my opinions, my fears, & desires. Blogging use to be a supportive & friendly place. Then it changed.

I started receiving a lot of criticism which is only expected but I wasn't expecting it to change me like it has. I suppose I have lost my courage. I write about meaningless subjects like nail polish & subjects that won't change the world. I would rather be criticized for things I don't care about than my actual opinions.

How do you really feel about miscarrying?
Relief.
My heart does go out to those who are unable to have children, however, miscarrying was such a blessing for McKay & I. We were excited to be parents because it is such a blessing. I am more excited to have more time with my husband. I wasn't quite ready to give up traveling & late night ice cream runs. We will have a family in due time but we have other plans until then.

How do you get through your hardest times?
The gospel, my husband & the gym.

What is your biggest flaw?
I assume the worst in people. I have a dark mentality that everyone, eventually, will let you down.

What do you do on your bad days to make you happy?
Make love. (Just warming you up for the next post.)

Do you have any regrets?
I'd like to say no but there are some aspects of my life that aren't ideal. I know I could have handled certain situations differently.

What happened to that boy you use to date? Any advice for break ups?
I've avoided this question like the plague. The story never came out & that was intentional. I didn't particularly care about the rumors. Since you asked, I will share my side of the story because I am entitled to that.
I have no hard feelings towards this particular person. In fact, I have the utmost respect for him & his family. We had spent a lot of time together for a few years but we tried to stay away from any labels. We were aware of the church standing on steady dating. We tried to date others but it was clear we were fond of each other.
August of 2010, I started writing McKay while he lived in Scotland. The boy I was not-officially but sort of officially dating was aware. Our relationship started faltering. Our dating schedule was consistent. We would go on a date, then we would spend the next weekend on a date with someone else or with our other friends. It helped our balance between being a completely isolated couple to a normal teenager with friends.
McKay came home in March of 2011. We went on a date that weekend. I knew I was in trouble.
The time between March & June is sort of hazy, which makes this story anticlimactic. We broke up a few times. Or at least tried to. The first time I told him that I loved McKay. It didn't go well. The second time I danced around the topic & it ended in a hug. The third time I told him that I had kissed McKay. That was the last time I heard from him. Someday I will write a book.
Most break-up's end in some sort of closure. Ours didn't. So I don't really have any advice because I don't really know how normal break up's happen. I did pray a lot & I know I made the right decision for me. That's what it comes down too. I believe we are both right where we should be.

Who is your hero?
My dad.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever realized?
It will work out.

Do you ever struggle with body image?
Yes. I've gained 10 pounds since I've been married & then some super observant & friendly person left an anonymous comment saying I am looking chubby. I am glad that I have a sweet husband that thinks I still look good naked. I think everyone has body image issues especially since my pinterest feed is covered with half-naked, boobless girls. I realize that I will never look like them. I also realize I would rather eat cafe rio than look like them. I will love my body because it is what I have been given.

Are you scare of growing old?
No.

How has your mother passing away affected you? What was your relationship like before?

Most days, it is a blessing. I know without a doubt that I will see my mom again. I have also been so lucky to have so many mothers. I've had women take me in under their wing & treat me like their daughter. That has been more than a blessing to me.

27 comments :

  1. You're so brave to be blunt & honest! I respect you for that & I'm sorry people have been rude to you, it's uncalled for.

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  2. That first question? Absurd. Actually a lot of these questions are. You're obviously a great person with normal interests. I don't know why people feel entitled to anonymously criticize you.

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  3. I love this post so much! I remember back in high school (went through some crap, just like everybody else) one of my seminary teachers told us that we all have trials. BUT! they were talking about how one girl losing a parent can be just as troubling as a girl failing a math test. so screwed up, but bascially we all have trials, and life can be hard but we can get through it!

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  4. Hey I just wanted to drop a line and let you know that you rock. Seriously, i love your blog and always look forward to a new post. keep it up!

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  5. i have waited for this so long.

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  6. Love you. Respect you. Enough said.

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  7. I think you're great. I think this blog is great. Love reading it.

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  8. i like your response about body image! i'm glad you love yourself and don't worry about what other people think or say. that is an admirable trait and shows maturity

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  9. kudos to you megan, you are beautiful. and if it makes you feel better, i appreciate your nail polish posts and pictures of date night with your hubby.

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  10. I love reading your blog Meg. I love your brutal honesty and hearing your real opinions about the world. I hope you know that there are those of us out there supporting your opinions, even if we don't agree with them. I'm all for free speech, particularly in the blogosphere. Thanks for letting complete strangers in your life. I've loved reading about your experiences.

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  11. I think you are such a wonderful person! You are also gorgeous! I can't even believe someone told you that you were looking chubby. That is such a lie. I thought of your blog while I was eating cafe rio today;)

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  12. I want to just say something, I love how you write and I would read this blog even if it is just about nail polish and tv shows. Its still you. People change, interests change and people just have to deal. So you're not at a point in your life where you want to give out random personal details about your life anymore. Its called growing up. Its been super cool reading how you've changed and what not. I apologize for dumb people's questions, comments, rumors, etc. You're just lovely and you should know that. I'm glad you're not too influenced by what people think. For what its worth, coming from just a random follower, I'm really glad that you're happy now because it took a long ways to get here I'm sure. So power to you girl, because you deserve it.

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  13. I have so much love and respect for you right now.

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  14. I've been reading your blog basically since the beginning. I always really loved how honest & out there you were with your feelings. For every 1 person who's offend or doesn't like it, there's AT LEAST another 5 who love & appreciate it!

    We are go through negative things, and at some point in our lives people think negatively of us.

    You should change because of them though. It seems that when you did write all that stuff, you really enjoyed blogging.

    The internet has a lot of rude people.

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  15. feel your pain with the marriage 10. Why do I feel like no one fairly warned me about that??
    You look great. You ARE great.

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  16. I hope you never stop blogging. Thanks for being real in a blogosphere full of phonies.

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  17. meg, this is glorious. you are glorious. and you're classy. it's odd how we have never met, yet i feel close enough to you that i want to punch those absurdly rude individuals. go you!

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  18. Chubby? Give me a break!
    You are mY favorite person.
    And I love all your honest answers.
    Cupcake date soon please:-)

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  19. You are so not chubby!!! You're so awesome for your sweet honest answers.
    Always will love your blog!!

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  20. I gained marriage weight, too! You're not alone!! :)

    Also, I completely empathize with your feeling that being criticized stinks and that too many people don't like you,
    but I hope you know that many more people love you than not. Your writing style and content (whether serious or frivolous - they both brighten my day!) are wonderful, and to be honest, it's so refreshing to read a blog about someone isn't trying to seem perfect. Or at least, who is brave enough to present a well-rounded picture of themselves (albeit edited - whoever said bloggers owe the whole world very personal detail about themselves?) containing weaknesses as well as strengths.

    A lot of words. Mostly they mean... you are great. :)

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  21. people are so rude. you're fabulous, i want to be like you when i grow up. the end.

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  22. I would be happy to gain 10 pounds if it meant I could look as great as you, because you really are great inside and out. Plus, I love your nail polish posts, without them I would have never discovered China Glaze. Thanks for blogging, Meg.

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  23. it's obviously being said by the main populace of readers, but i'd like to echo my respect - if i had people openly asking me personal questions, i would be wetting my pants at the thought of publicly answering & responding to such criticism. extreme lack of class in that last statement, but it's the truth. i'd like to develop my honesty & ability to handle those who try to bring me down as bravely as you have, in addition to nurturing our Father's forgiveness & love within my heart towards them. since the first post of "a twisted fairytale" in my early stalking days, still love you meg.

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  24. Meg, I think you are absolutely amazing! You have been through so much and yet are so strong! I hope someday to have that strength that you posses. We are never given trials that we won't be able to overcome. Good luck with everything!
    p.s. You are absolutely beautiful!

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  25. You are NOT chubby in any way. You are beautiful and I am jealous of your body.
    The end.
    I feel like a creep.

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