the end of the tierra show. the bachelor : week six

2.12.2013

(quick thoughts from last week part two. so sorry I didn't give you a complete run down.)
I miss you, Selma. Tierra, you're quality entertainment.

Noowwwww, week six.

AshLee's striped shirt is ca-ute.

T, I dare you to smile when someone else get's the date. I dare you. Seriously, you sour puss.

"the cougar is back in town." Woah, that was rude.

I wonder if a bikini body is mandatory when applying for the bachelor.

Saucy beach make outs. oooh, la, la.

T get's a one on one, then she complains about it. Oh, I'm sorry that a date in St. Croix isn't up to your standards, princess.

AshLee's make or break : she's a bisexual. That's my guess.

Close one. Marriage at 17. She could be a Utahan.

"I try to talk to them. I tried to get involved." Liar, liar, pants on fire, T.

Of course, Catherine looks hot at 5 AM with crazy person hair. "I just need to pee & I'm good to go." She is my very favorite.

I'd take sleep over a sunrise. I'd fail at the bachelor.

I bet that orange juice is spiked.

If I was in the house, I would make friends with Leslie & Catherine. Lindsay too, probably. They are fun.

Des' cries on the beach. It's sweet. She's sweet, like candyland.

Lindsay gets the rose. I was not expecting that, at all.

Shoot. This date with Leslie is a little bit awkward. Next bachelorette? Okay.

Les is into it. Sean isn't. I feel super awkward. Just end it already.

Sean looks like a cabana boy in his flowy button up & teal shorts. Bring me a fruity drink.

Sister Sean has a pretty face.

"that one." says sister sean. you mean T.

Ooooh, here come the fight with T & AshLee. (fight, fight, fight, fight.) Cue dramatic, flat, piano music.

"Girls are jealous. Men love me." Hence why you are on the bachelor aka the last resort.

AshLee for the win!

T, you have a sparkle. A demon, soul eating, sparkle.

"I CAN'T CONTROL MY EYEBROW." Let's end the season with that because seriously, her eyebrow needed to be addressed.

"once again it's the tierra show." Amen, amen, amen. I'm going to be so sad when she leaves.

"I have such a big heart." a black one, maybe.

I love ugly criers. They are dude magnets.

"I'm crazy about you." says sean but he really meant, "you are crazy."

I LOVE when you can see the camera guys in the back of shots. It's one of my very favorite things.

"Are you going to be okay?" "No. I'm not." Oh, stop it before America strangles you.

Away in the minivan you go, T. You will be surely missed.

Those dresses remind me of skittles. Don't tell me it's not coordinated. We know it is. ABC, you're not that tricky.

AshLee's yellow number is faaaaaabulous. Her wardrobe this week is great.

One rose. Les. Ash. He is going to send them both home. Placing bets now. (Even though my track record is a little bit flawed when it comes to my bachelor betting game.)

AshLee. I'm so bad at this game. We know this.

LESLIE FOR BACHELORETTE. She has that cool quality that Ali F had- if you have been watching season after season.

"If he doesn't want Leslie, I don't know why he wants me." (hashtag)lezbehonest

Next week is going to be freaking CRAZY. (I love this show. So much.)

12 comments :

  1. hahahahahha I'm seriously DYING of laughter. And I haven't even seen any of this season! Great commentary!

    xoxo
    Liesl

    woodsy-soiree.blogspot.com

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  2. hahah loved your recap. i was so confused by catherine, was she rooting for leslie and not herself?! i could totally see leslie being the next bachelorette for sure though.

    tierra is crazy, i thought for sure she'd be in the final two though!

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  3. hahah i love your recaps. the best. i love when she was all "im hot, sweaty and thristy" im all really you finally got your date and your going to complain.

    xo
    e

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  4. This. Is. Great. Obsessed with the show, and I love reading this recap.

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  5. (hashtag)lezbehonest = best part of this post

    hahhaha, who needs to watch the bachelor when we have your recaps?

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  6. thanks to your blog i don't have to watch the bachelor, i just read your blog instead.haha

    K

    but im being serious.

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  7. I go back and watch it again whenever I see a camera man do an awkward squat/run away in the background. It's my favorite.

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  8. hahahah...meg. you're the grandest. i have been obsessed with this show for ages but it always makes me laugh even more when i read your posts. you're too witty for your own good...and it flows when you blog with your wittiness. did that just make any sort of sense? probably not. i obviously lack wit. apparently T does too though. or more like common sense or any sort of human brain. really? you can't control your eyebrows? good one.

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  9. hahahaha, "A demon, soul eating sparkle." YES!

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  10. You're so spot on. I will picket for Les to be the next bachelorette. Sigh of relief that T is gone. Thank goodness. Let's take a breather before hometown week madness.

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