the real kind.

2.06.2013

Every time I think I know a lot about love, I learn more. Love isn't arbitrary or without effort. I thought when I got married I would dismiss past love & chalk them up as teenage idiocy. I still consider past relationships credible & filled with a certain amount of love.

When I met McKay, I learned a new kind of love. A love that held real promise with no foreseeable end. I set aside my fears and left my insecurities on the surface, for him to see. It was still new, exciting, and held a lot of heat. We argued & made snide remarks but our love was quickly moving & I fell hard. The idea of spending forever together was easy to imagine. It was hardly a question. I found a new kind of love & wanted to hold on to it forever.

Now, I have been married for just over a year. I know a different kind of love. A love that the Lord would only let me have after all my darkness broke at the seams. I remember sitting in the bathroom in the dark with my pants at my ankles bleeding. A family we could have had was settling at the bottom of the toilet & that was heavy on my emotions. McKay sat on the edge of bathroom with his arms around me, keeping me up. In that moment, I knew a different kind of love. His love as my husband and as my anchor.

There is also a kind of love within marriage that happens after a raging fight. The slamming doors, throwing pillows to the couch, kind. It happens when you stop simmering like a maniac, realize that you are wrong, and apologize. I usually cry & crawl into McKay's lap like a child. I have learned a love that takes precedence over being right.

Then there is my favorite kind of love. It happens when you are laying in bed, it has been quiet for a while & one of us does something really weird. I mean the kind of weird that use to only happen with your best friend really late at night. Unexplained animal noises, bed dancing- not the naughty kind, or in other words  when your real person that you keep deep down inside all day for the sake of your social reputation, finally reaches the surface. When that happens. 

On Sunday, we were driving home from a family get together. We were quiet & the valley fog made it even more quiet. I'm not sure why but I started making noise. Something like singing, but no words. Just long sounds, with no rhythm. It was weird. McKay looked over with thoughtful eyes, "You've gotten weird. You wouldn't have done that when we are dating." That was the truth. I wouldn't have. Farting was where i drew the weird line.

The weird kind of love is my favorite kind. It's the kind that has made us best friends. The real kind. 

20 comments :

  1. meg,

    this is beautiful. really. you have it so spot on. you are really an inspiration. keep being real. it's refreshing.

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  2. i like this quite a bit.
    i wish i had that.

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  3. This post... says it all. You are such a good writer. And you and McKay are the best.

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  4. I love this post. You have a way with words and your blog is my favorite. Over and out.

    Emily
    weddedones.blogspot.com

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  5. you know how you asked what my favorite kind of posts are? yeah... this is it.

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  6. i absolutely love this post! this is definitely one of the reasons you are in my top 5 blogger list... you are a great writer! xo

    brielle
    www.themisterandme.com

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  7. Agreed. I think we reached the weird kind of love within two weeks of being married. And now we are just weird and we laugh.

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  8. i completely agree. we definitely do weird things. and i swear we only get weird.
    a beautiful post.

    K

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  9. I love this. You really do have a way with words. I can't wait to keep experiencing this kind of love. You made me look forward to being married even more! :)

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  10. I comment and creep too much. I was stressed about wedding planning all day. And this made it better and exciting again. Thank you, thank you.

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  11. This post is honest and real. I love it.
    Thank you for making sure blogs like this exist.

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  12. This makes me want to be married so bad.

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  13. This made me tear up a little bit. These kind of posts are my favorite posts of yours. Loving on your blog right now!

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  14. This is so true! Being in love with your best friend is the greatest -- the person that you can let all the walls down with and act like a silly, goofy person sometimes. It's hard work being "normal" for the rest of the world, you've got to have that person you can let loose with in your life and it's especially important to find that in a partner. So happy for you, Meg!

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  15. oy, how i love this. i am excited to experience this kind of love when the lord finds it necessary.

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  16. IN LOVE with this post soooooooooo much. Oh gosh. Especially the last line. And also, ya, my husband and I are the weirdest when we're behind closed doors together. And I love it SO MUCH.

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  17. This is awesome. We've been married just nine months, but it wasn't until after the wedding that I realized how weird and hilarious my husband is. Of course I loved him, but he is a pretty reserved & conservative guy. But all of a sudden after the honeymoon he started acting goofy and crazy and weird and just so so funny and now I am SO thankful for that side of him. It was like an extra blessing in our relationship that the Lord knew I needed, but decided to surprise me with after our wedding. p.s. Thanks for the nice comment on my blog. :)

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  18. this is so beautifully put :) thanks for being an example of what true love is for us younger girls!

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