unicorns & fire.

4.02.2014

I like to be positive but everyone knows bad days happen. Even though my blog has resorted to rainbows, recipes & stuff that doesn't hold a significant amount of gravity, sometimes I do like being honest. Raw, even.

I am so incredibly annoyed with old situations. Past experiences that people don't give up. It's like my past trials have floated to the surface in the last few weeks & I'm exhausted. I was exhausted then while dealing with them, & I'm still so tired of dealing with the same situations now.

Also, I am sorry for being so vague. I understand if you are reading this, it's less fun because I'm not calling anyone out directly or spilling any dirty details. I do understand I'm not being particularly personal but sometimes, you just have to write aimlessly & send it off into the cyber world.

Sometimes I just want to scream "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry." because of the past turmoil I've caused. I'm not as fiery as I once was. Filled with fear, I am rather timid & instead, I don't say anything at all.

It's a weird thing running into people you once knew. People that you though, perhaps hoped you wouldn't run into again. Then doing it over & over & over again.

I'm exhausted. I'm dramatic. Plus hormonal. I'm also listening to the "Missy Higgins" radio on pandora so that isn't helping my cause.

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On a not so help-me-i'm-so-emotional note, remember my mysterious neighbor? I saw her again today. For the 3rd time. In the year we've lived here. She's really like a unicorn. I recorded her as she walked to her car & sent to everyone I know. (Okay, I'm creepy & that sounded creepier than my actual intent.)

Oh dear unicorn neighbor, you are full of mystery. I assume you aren't a serial killer because, well, I'm not dead. (If I do become in that state, then we know.) Someday we'll laugh this off but until then, I'll keep blogging about you.

5 comments :

  1. The words you typed out, are how I feel on the regular. It is a very vulnerable spot to be in, I am sorry it has become so overwhelming. Just know you are not alone, maybe that helps..

    Xo-Brittney

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  2. I feel the same way sometimes. I wish the past would just stay in the past. It's not that I've stirred up anything significantly horrible in the past, it's just that I don't like seeing people from the past who bring up horrible feelings in my gut. I think that's called nausea. High school and its faces make me vomit. People change, and I would like to think that I'm a better/changed person than I was in my previous years. Good luck dealing with weirdos.

    xo. M.

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  3. maybe these situations surfacing is a good sign & maybe it's time to figure them out. who knows.

    i'm sorry it's sucky. & i totally understand the "i just need to write aimlessly and send it into cyber world." i feel that often. for some reason, there is just something so satisfying about getting it out there SOMEWHERE. even though you hope certain people never ever stumble upon it. but it's life. and they might, and they might not.

    center street & i have the worst luck. i feel as if i'll be avoiding that street from now on. lets hate this awkwardness together.

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  4. I'm with you on just getting things out of your mind, through your finger tips and out in to cyber space. I did that just this last Monday. Totally sent out an email and included a poem I wrote and so cleverly named, "I hate you, I hate you, I hope you die". I should mention the poem was about myself *gasp* I have since made up with myself and again love myself a lot (too much...wait that sounded sketchy...)

    Anywho, I realized when we chatted the other day that I called a certain group of ladies the T word...that rhymes with...wait I can't think of anything that rhymes with it. Fail. You know what I'm talking about and it donned on me after the fact that I just said the freaking T word to a Young Women's leader! Oh em. Shame on me. You know it all comes from love though, right?

    Hang in there pal.

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  5. thank you for writing this. thank you for your posts, every single one. you may think their random and you may think some don't even have a topic, and some don't, but they seriously help me out, SO. MUCH. just to know someone relates and someone has similar problems as i do, is a blessing. and i sincerely thank you for your short posts, your long ones, your personal ones, and your incredibly hilarious ones. you're a stellar example to me and we haven't even met. i'm just a teenager, who blog hops instead of finishing homework, but seriously your outlook gives me hope for the future outside of high school. so, thank you. truly.

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