list one : goals + dreams for this year


Blogging isn't a new year goal of mine. Writing is. Whether that be here, or in a notebook while waiting in a lobby or quickly jotted down in my phone- I'd like to write more. It use to act like therapy for me, which I'm in need of. Perhaps, I'll see you around more often.


A few weeks ago, I sat in a quiet lobby, decorated to calm hormonal ladies. Most of the other women who were waiting were pregnant, but I wasn't. Nor am I now. I was unusually anxious, which really isn't out of my character, but I thought I was actually going crazy.

I thought to myself, "maybe this is postpartum depression?" which sort of felt odd because my daughter is 10 months old. I knew it was a possibility. I always thought depression or anxiety would feel differently. Foggy or incredibly solemn. I felt angry. All of the time. At situations & people that normally bring me great joy. I stepped back from my situation to realize that something was wrong.

My very favorite doctor, who I hadn't seen since he delivered Juniper, greeted me so warmly. After explaining my deteriorating mental health, he prescribed me an antidote to calm my every simmering anger.

Exercise. (Or start there & if that doesn't correct it, maybe a hormone panel is in need.) 

I'm not one for new years resolutions normally, as I feel like they clutter the majority of January & fade away throughout the year, but I do feel as if it's necessary for me now.

I'd like to be healthier. In the kind of way that I don't eat ice cream for dinner & brownies for breakfast. I'm getting older & I can't pack away french fries like I could when I was 17. I understand that my stretch marks probably won't go away, which I'm okay with. I'd like not to be winded when going up a flight of stairs. I've invested in a sponsor- sort of like a mending alcoholic. She'll keep me accountable & send me daily "stay away from Sodalicious" texts.

I will slow down. I like being busy. Incredibly, over-booked, doing-too-much, busy. It doesn't suite my family, or myself when I don't leave time for either. I will let the dishes pile up while we stay in bed enjoying Juniper's babbles. I won't pencil in appointments that aren't necessary. I will not treat being busy like a novelty that should be had.

Mostly, I hope to be more kind.


I was gifted The 52 Lists Project by Moorea Seal over the Christmas Season. I'll be taking prompts, as I'm too boring to think of my own.


  1. Love your new years resolutions. I'm with ya on the exercise and glad to know that is what your doctor prescribed for anger. I use to run in college if I was mad or frustrated and it was the best therapy...I need to start that again. I hope you write here more often, because it's my fav. have a happy new year meg:)

  2. My postpartum was of the 'rage' variety. I didn't get the blues or any sort of depression, but I got MAD really really easily. At my kids mostly. I got some meds that helped me immensely, but I also worked hard to get outside and be active, which also helped. It sucks that you are feeling those things too, but I hope you can find ways to get out of that slump. :)

  3. Meg, in the span between your July post and now, I had forgotten about your blog. I remembered it the other day and came to take a look. This post is beautiful. Keep writing. I hope you share with us when you can, because these glimpses of *Meg* just make me feel like the world is a good place even though life's hard, and gosh, everything's going to somehow be okay. And keep exercising. It saves my life, and then I get all non-crazy and think I'm fine, then I quit, and then I get crazy again and have to get back into exercising. Hang in there. You're doing great.


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